google Keep your relationship strong

 
How sturdy is your relationship?  Is it fully, completely unshakable?

If so, does one recognize why?  If not, does one recognize what the matter is?

This article has seven “pillars” of a powerful relationship… if all seven area unit standing firm, your relationship are going to be sturdy and reliable.  If one in all them falls, the connection gets somewhat a lot of shaky, because the others ought to acquire the added  burden of support.

The pillars all support one another, as well. meaning that joined falls, the others area unit weaker, and a lot of probably to fall themselves. this will cause a effect, wherever a relationship that has been comparatively smart utterly falls apart in Associate in Nursing surprisingly short time.

The good news is that a pillar are often repaired, however it needs plenty of your time and energy for many of them, thus if you notice one in all them beginning to become unstable in your relationship, fix it before it falls utterly.

So now, here it is, what you’ve been looking forward to, the seven pillars of a powerful relationship (or the way to build your relationship unshakable):

1. Honesty

    

   Honesty is important in every aspect of life, including relationships.  If you are not honest with your partner, then you are intentionally erecting internal walls that keep them away from who you really are.  Keeping your partner at a distance is not conducive to a strong relationship (see #6).
   There is someone it is even more important to be honest with than your partner, however, and that someone is probably someone you’re very used to deceiving… you.  If you aren’t honest with yourself, about who you are, what you want, where you are going… you can’t possibly be honest with your partner.  So be honest with yourself first.

2. Trust

    

   Nothing makes a relationship shaky faster than broken trust.  Trust is (relatively) easily given the first time, but once broken, is very difficult to repair.
   The trust referred to here isn’t just about your partner being able to believe what you say.  It’s about them being able to trust you completely… trust you to not hurt them, trust you to be committed to them, trust you with everything from the smallest detail up to and including trusting you with their life.
   It isn’t just big things that break someone’s trust, either.  Little things can chip away at it until it’s so fragile that the slightest burden shatters it.

3. Respect

    

   If you want a solid relationship, respect is an essential part.  You need to respect your partner’s needs and wants, their weaknesses and strengths, their dreams and goals.  You need to respect who they are.  Don’t try to make them be like you… don’t treat them like they are wrong any time they differ from you.  Very little in the world is black and white, wrong and right… understand that and accept that their differences don’t need “fixed”.
   It’s also important to remember that you need to truly respect them, not just make a show of it in front of them.  If you truly respect them, then you won’t disrespect them to your friends or family, or anyone else.  Doing so, even if they never find out, only weakens your respect for them further, and doesn’t help your commitment, either.

4. Communication

    

   No list of things that area unit vital to a relationship may presumably be complete while not listing communication.  Communication may be a a part of such a lot of the remainder of a relationship… it’s laborious to trust somebody who won’t communicate with you, it’s laborious to own intimacy, attention nearly forever includes a communication component… just about each facet of a relationship is touched by communication.
   That’s why it’s vital to understand a way to communicate well and effectively. an enormous a part of this can be visual communication… become awake to your body language, and make sure that it reflects the particular words that set out of your mouth… in alternative words, don’t be concerning|brooding about|pondering|considering|puzzling over|wondering} what you’re attending to do tomorrow (which can have an effect on your body language) whereas you’re reprehension your partner about one thing vital immediately.
   It’s additionally vital that you just perceive that listening is as massive a locality of communication as what you specific yourself.  Don’t build conversations a contest, don’t attempt to “fix” everything your partner tells you (Men, pay special attention to it one), and don’t be simply watching for them to prevent talking therefore you'll speak.
   What you must neutralize communication is concentrate on things that you just have in common… that’s what brings you along.  Focusing your communication on things that you just don’t share makes it tougher for your partner to relate to you, that is in no way attending to facilitate with strengthening the connection.

5. Attention

    

   Attention is that the suggests that by that you provide one thing or somebody importance in your life. everybody is aware of this instinctively, though being consciously responsive to it's rather more rare.
   This means that once you provide your partner and your relationship attention, they're going to notice and respond. once you provide them less, they're going to notice that, too.  Indiscriminate, aimless attention will become oppressive, however. you would like to convey them your attention in ways in which show that you simply area unit puzzling over them, not regarding you.
   Giving your partner attention doesn’t essentially even involve time with them.  It are often selecting out one thing that they're going to like and obtaining it for them, or creating them one thing, or coming up with a visit that they're going to fancy, etc.  Giving them attention merely suggests that defrayment time and energy on them, although most of that point and energy isn’t really with them.

6. Intimacy

    

   Many relationships have drifted from a husband/wife relationship to a friends relationship thanks to an absence of intimacy.  This doesn’t simply mean sexual intimacy, though that's necessary, too… it means that dropping the walls you have got within you and property your partner deeper than the surface level that you simply sustain to shield yourself from being hurt.
   It means that trusting them enough to allow them to in to wherever they'll hurt you.  The additional intimacy (by this definition) your relationship has, the stronger it'll be… providing the intimacy is mutual. once only 1 person permits the opposite past their walls, it's terribly onerous, and really wearying, on the opposite person.  It conjointly starts moving several of the opposite pillars, because the one who will open their walls can begin to marvel why the opposite doesn’t (trust), whether or not the opposite person cares (attention, respect), and if they'll still forecast the opposite person (trust, commitment).
   Letting down your walls together with your partner is terribly onerous, particularly those deep within, those that you simply don’t even disillusioned for yourself… however your relationship will solely be as sturdy as your intimacy permits.

7. Commitment

    

   Commitment… everybody desires it for an honest, strong, deep relationship. many folks can deny that they are doing, however that’s solely at the surface… if they’re honest with themselves, they'll admit that they have commitment for the connection to maneuver past a particular purpose.
   The commitment i'm talking concerning here doesn’t got to be wedding.  It merely implies that you'll think about the opposite person to be there, to place effort into your relationship, to stay you close to the highest of their list of priorities.  In the US, at least, and each different culture that i do know of, this is often be} most powerfully expressed and embodied in marriage… it’s a symbol of commitment that everybody can acknowledge.
   On the opposite hand, simply because you're married doesn’t mean that you simply have commitment. folks unify for dangerous reasons, or forget to keep up their commitment, or different things could happen (lack of intimacy and communication will weaken commitment, wedding or no marriage).
   Regardless of whether or not you’re married or not, commitment is very important.

Each pillar is expounded to a minimum of 2 others.  With a number of them it’s not too arduous to ascertain however they're related… it’s terribly troublesome to own trust while not honesty, as an example.  Others area unit alittle less obvious, just like the indisputable fact that an absence of attention to your partner weakens your commitment to them.

When you consider the relationships between the pillars, it makes it straightforward to ascertain why it’s necessary to often make sure the strength of all of them.  The crumbling of 1 pillar will simply pull one in every of the connected pillars down with it, and although it stops there, that’s knock out 2 of the seven pillars… that’s lots of shakiness and instability to own suddenly injected into a relationship.

I don’t assume you'll be able to say that anyone pillar is a lot of necessary than the remainder, however it's easier to specialise in some and strengthen them, that then strengthens the pillars to that the few area unit connected, eventually strengthening the entire relationship.

So move, choose some to specialise in, however don’t ignore any of them. AN with determination robust relationship are going to be your reward.